Remember how sometimes when you get somethings home, after getting them home, and you open up the package on to find those words “some assembly required” written on the box! Funny how they didn’t warn you when you were buying it!
So you start to work on trying to put it together and make it work only to be left frustrated and very, very… what’s the word? ANNOYED! Sadly, try as we might, we can’t assemble it on our own. Then we face the awful truth. We might have to ask for help. O. M. G.!
Who do we ask? How do we ask? Sometimes asking for help is the hardest thing and makes us feel a bit vulnerable and needy. But what if we are the thing that needs help putting together? And we find we can’t do it by ourselves. What do we do then? What can we do then?
I read so many sad and heart wrenching stories of people barely managing to cope and struggling by under the most difficult of circumstances and indescribable challenges. I read their stories and the tears start falling. I am want to help. I would probably even hurt myself trying to help, but I cant help them. Help is, however, definitely what we need.
When I was a Project Manager and starting a new project for the first time, one of the firs things (amongst many) that I needed to know was who I had on my team and what ‘resources’ in order to have an idea if the project could / would succeed. Same as anything we try and do in life. We all need help, people on our team and resources.
If you have the life long task of trying to manage an illness then you need ALL the help and resources you can get. Family, neighbours, doctors, specialists, anyone, everyone. Anyone who can AND will help. When hubby and I found ourselves alone and trying to cope we went through some very dark times and desperate times. Try as we might, we found that its not easy to go it alone and fight this never ending war; and impossible to fight it alone.
We started calling anyone and everyone we could think of, randomly calling hospitals, community centers, local city council and anyone. At first it was a big blow to our pride. At first it stung. It ached. But one of the things we were determined to do was to do EVERYTHING we could. And so far we have.
The very first thing I suggest anyone going through a life long battle, challenges and unknown health future is to get help. Wherever and whenever you can find them. It may not come from the areas that you might have thought and hoped but never say no. Say “Thank you, I would really appreciate being able to call on you if I need to…” Swallow that pride. Open your heart and mind. Post a message on your Facebook page, advertise, call, ask, we may not like having to call upon strangers, but strangers who are prepared to help are better than friends that don’t have time.
Why should we do this? Because we are worth it. This is a life long thing and so we need a life of learning how and when to ask for help. If your doctors aren’t on the team, we look for new ones. If we don’t get the answers we need, we find people who can help us find some answers or at least want to help.
You see they cant and wont tell you all the things you will need and all the things it takes to manage difficult health challenges because we find that out after we get home and open the box. We find that when it comes to chronic illness, autoimmune and disability there will always be some assembly required.