A picture of normal
Today I received a message from a fellow chronic fighter and it was a simple picture of her doing some everyday thing. It meant the world to me and made my day!
I realized in that split second that many other people may never know what that simple gesture can mean to those who live without much interaction and diversion. It really is everything.
I have been struggling again lately and because I don’t want to constantly talk or share difficult times with people, especially as they may grow tired of hearing such things, it remains a struggle to find things to share that people would want to hear or see. This doesn’t have to be a problem when taking with fellow fighters.
Often a fellow fighter has intimate knowledge of what you may be going through and so sharing a picture of their dog or hearing some little bit of news means everything because it helps us feel normal and connected. It’s like being told hey, You are still important to me!
Under normal circumstances it is likely that my friends / loved ones and I would visit, have coffee, meet up, go for a walk or do something very ordinary, but for many of us even the ordinary and mundane is beyond reach; At least that’s where I find myself most days. Therefore a picture of my friends and loved ones garden, their cat, their street, their party or their lazy moments by the pool are like catnip for those of us that desperately want to do more of these things in life.
Ironically, if I want a picture of an exciting journey, an epic celebration or an expensive car I can see millions of them on social media, but what we don’t have enough of is being able to share in the little moments of our loved ones lives… That is the hardest loss of all!
You see I have done a little traveling, seen a few museums, shopped, drank and ate at some amazing restaurants but I haven’t shared enough of the small and intimate moments with my friends and loved ones that I would like. I don’t think we ever really have enough of those things.
I want to see their silly moments, I want to see their difficult moments, I want to see their messy lives and messy moments just as much as I dearly want to see them happy! It’s all part of life and we often forget that every masterpiece has details in the background. Intricate, special, important and unique details.
I miss the smell of coffee from the kitchen in my old office. I miss the way the my colleagues would stumble into work. I miss the smell of rain as it hit the pavement in the city. I miss the way friends smile when tell them they look nice. I miss that hug goodbye when you leave after chatting with someone. I miss the way the sun comes shining through a shop window…
Many things are taken away from you when you have a chronic or limiting illness and sometimes the things we miss the most are the little things most people overlook all day, every day.
A little picture of something so mundane and yet an integral part of my friends and loved ones everyday life is more precious than gold to me and all it takes to make my day. So I encourage you all to share these things with a sick or ill friend and let them know you are still a presence in their lives and thoughts. Even the most little things will mean so much to them and you can change their day in an instant.