It seems to me now that people will often reveal their true feelings and life experiences in the manner which they speak and act. Often times it pervades all we do and see, and the way we speak about them.
For example, I grew up around someone that was unhappy with their life and many of the events that had occurred, as a result his conversations were almost always about himself and his speech was marked by a monotone and heavy atmosphere. It was difficult to converse with him and I would often avoid try to avoid it.
Another person I knew had not liked many of the events in her life and she felt an underlying anger and resentment towards the hand that life had dealt her, as a result her conversations would generally be sarcastic, bitter and she enjoyed gossiping about others constantly. It was hard for me to be around her too.
Over the years I have noticed the changes in many of the conversations and the manner in which I, and those around me, speak. I notice the topics discussed more. I notice the inflections in voices more. I notice the cadence in our speech patterns and how often it belies how we are feeling and how we perceive our lives.
The other day I thought about my own conversations and how and what I talk about. I was surprised by what I interpreted from it.
Generally speaking I enjoy talking about ideas, plans and experiences. I have great enthusiasm for both deeper conversations and also humorous observations about life. I will ask questions and seek answers. I have never lost my joy for discovery and learning. Even now.
Despite having sadder days and painful events I can enjoy talking and my interactions, especially those which appeal to my sense of humor and curiosity. Thus I am very proud of the fact that I haven’t let the hardships of life fill me with morose thoughts and morbid conversations. I don’t believe that depression rules my existence despite all the things that could depress someone with health challenges.
Much of what we know about people can be revealed in our voices, our speech and our conversations. They are the silent cues to gauging our emotional temperatures.
One of the most significant changes to my conversations over the years has been my ability to show and express more emotions and authenticity. I now enjoy a much broader range of emotions. No longer do I feel limited to being a happy go lucky ‘yes man’ or a positivity Queen. I feel confident in being able to share laughter, curiosity, sadness, and love in my emotional repertoire. I now feel quite restricted by people who make it hard for me to enjoy this emotional range; I have tended to avoid those people or situations much more these days.
So many more topics and feelings are available to me now that I don’t wish to waste precious energy on unfulfilling dialogue or interactions; Especially as energy and opportunity is so much more limited these days.
Outside of these blogs and my advocacy work I rarely discuss my health and my daily challenges as I don’t want my interactions or my mind to be focused or based on these things. I believe my thoughts and feelings have the ability to live independently of my physical being, so I cultivate and nurture anything that can thrive despite chronic health battles. I love knowing that my personality and character is growing.
I strongly believe that my health challenges have given me the confidence, resilience and strength to live a more authentic and deeper life. It may sound quite strange to many out there but health challenges can really strengthen our inner voices and can make us take much more notice of what our inner voice is saying.
This is just one of the things that I have become most proudest of in my health journey and it is an important tool by which I gauge my own coping skills, based on what I talk about and how I talk about them.
There is so much that can be learned through our conversations with others that are both spoken and unspoken and there is so much we can learn from those coping with chronic illnesses if we would only just listen.