2019 is coming and I have been thinking about whether focusing on goals actually works or is each new year merely a continuation of the last. It is easy to get confused and discouraged by it all!
So many years have had similar challenges and battles that it can be hard to find focus and motivation again. It can feel like one never ending repeat at times.
This time last year I had began planning many projects and hoped to transform my home with renovations and changes. Sadly we met a lot of obstacles and difficulties in the form of resources and contractors willing to carry out the various tasks. Ultimately it got very difficult and in the end we had to rest and postpone indefinitely.
What can be learned from all this?
Standing back from it all it becomes easy to feel disheartened and disappointed with life and trying to make changes so that we can cope more easily. It’s easy to look at what didn’t get done and what remains to be done and feel frustrated, however it also occurred to me how much we actually did achieve; regardless of how small. It turns out that we actually achieved quite a few important milestones in the renovations and we managed to cope with some significant personal battles and challenges!
I often marvel at how I find myself forgetting what has been achieved each year, even if it is simply being able to cope and maintain calm.
This year I also found myself being able to advocate for myself with doctors and specialists. Although I know I have a long way to go. My confidence in myself and my worth has also risen and every little bit counts.
I find it’s easy to forget the things I have achieved, even though they may be subtle and on a personal level… often I need to take a step back and re-evaluate.
I also got to step back into my artwork again which I am especially thankful for as it has become a powerful way of handling pain and frustration.
The result of this ruminating is that it has encouraged me to make some goals again for the new year, and I again believe it is beneficial to make some sort of focus point for which to aim my energy.
This coming year I intend to focus my writing and blogging towards encouraging and supporting chronic dignity and self esteem.
I have noticed these past years becoming more stressful and complicated and it is easy to let the world weigh heavy on our shoulders. It’s easy to feel lost and overlooked. That’s why this year I hope to do what I can to spread the message and encourage my fellow fighters to take back pride and self respect in their lives.
I can’t empathize enough the importance that our loved ones and friends can play in these goals. As I write this I am well aware that although self respect must begin from within, it has been very important to have the support and love of my circle to maintain momentum. After all, I have never found it difficult to encourage my healthier friends or support them when I hear of their holiday plans, work aspirations, fitness goals or hobbies. It would only be receiving something back in return for all of these times.
It can be incredibly hard some days to have self belief and self love when we are in pain and disabled more than others can comprehend. It’s harder still when the world can never see what we are battling or how hard we are fighting. I anticipate days when I will be near broken and times when people may seem harsh and judge mental. My goal during these times will be to ensure I never place my precious energy and self worth in the hands of those unwilling to protect and treasure it. This will be the most important step of all!
By feeding and nourishing our self worth my plan is that it will withstand the hard times, the difficult times and the feelings that come with them. Like a growing flower that must endure harsh summers and long winters in order to survive and flourish, I want to encourage us all to make this year a self worth and dignity year. I truly hope you will join in.