How It Happened

It’s always so surprising what people will say, and how they will recall an event after it happened.

Generally they will tend to say something that will fit their own beliefs and narrative. But is it the truth? Is it what really happened?

Recently I read an article written about someone who had committed suicide and there were comments by various people about what led to the death of this person, as I sat and read about someone I don’t know it occurred to me what is the real truth behind the events? Does anyone really know? Can anyone really know?

Think for a moment about something that you might have done years ago, now remove your own knowledge of the event and assume that of a bystander. What could they have thought about your actions? How would they describe them, given that they know nothing about you and what you were thinking at the time? It may be a very different story and explanation entirely.

But that’s the human condition. Isn’t it?

Things we know nothing about happen all the time, and yet we try to form explanations of them based on our limited understanding of the world and humanity.

Last year we lost a fellow Autoimmune fighter due to complications caused by their disease. I didn’t know the person intimately, only online, but I was still saddened. I, like others, felt a sense of loss. This person had shared with the group of online strangers their daily physical and emotional challenges, because they knew that these strangers would understand more than anyone else would. More than their parents. More than their partner. More than their closest friend. More than their doctors. These invisible, unknown people had a better understanding of what life was like than those physically closer to them.

That struck me as very sad.

One day it will be my turn. One day I will pass away and I am sure that many people will have their own versions of what my life was like.

I am sure comments may be passed about my battle with long term chronic illness and depending on who the person is they will have formed their own opinions of what that meant for me and my life.

Some may say she didn’t try to get better. Some may say that they think it was the drugs that I took which caused problems. Some may say it was because she had isolated herself that caused my demise. Some may even believe ‘she was a hypochondriac and couldn’t possibly have been that sick’ and take comfort in the fact that they didn’t listen to my numerous calls for awareness.

Others may even believe it was because I didn’t eat enough kale or some other wonder food…

I have resigned myself to the fact that perhaps very few will ever accept the fact that many chronic sufferers will pass because of this one plain truth…

There is currently no cure for Autoimmune diseases.

People will believe and say what they want to, but I hope that in my lifetime I did my best to help remind the world that we need cures and not blind accusations.

Gentle hugs,


4 thoughts on “How It Happened

  1. Another well written account of what many of us think about and ponder πŸ€” in those wee hours of the night. Awake in discomfort but letting our minds and thoughts drift towards heavy topics that many don’t either allow themselves to go, or have no need to entertain….. hugs mt dear friend… Alex πŸ˜‰πŸ˜˜

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Firstly, I’ve done suicide training and the term “committed suicide” is no longer used. We now say “died by suicide”, the reason being that “committed” has criminal connotations. I’ve known people who have killed themselves. My ex-father-in-law and a friend of a friend. There is no rational reason behind suicide as the people are not thinking as a non-desperate person thinks. If you haven’t been there you really can’t understand it.

    As for memories, I remember my mum and I had a conversation about when I was wee and a certain situation. We both remembered it differently. Who’s recollection was right? We didn’t know! Mum said that she’d felt guilty for all those years about this situation, but it hadn’t bothered me in the least. I’m glad that I’d lifted that burden of guilt from her, the guilt I never knew she’d carried, before she died.

    What will people think when you pass? The same as people always think when someone dies. Everyone has different thoughts and memories of the deceased. However, where you are concerned I have a feeling that the majority of people will have fond memories of you through this blog and social media. You will be missed by a great many people from all over the world, when the time comes which I hope is not for a very all time. I know this as a Twitter/blogger “friend” passed away a few years ago and I still miss him so very much. :’-(

    I love you my friend and I’m always here for you. ❀ xox


  3. Of course autoimmune disease can be cured using kale. but it is important to only use the leafs and a few seeds, rolled up in a paper and .. sorry wait that is an entirely different thing.

    So back to RA. I have left several careers and I can say with certainty I have made little impact on any long term issue. Occasionally people break through and have memorable accomplishments. But most of us put a small brick in the wall and that brick is never acknowledged. I may have never made lots of things better I but I hope I get the chance to add something information to the brick that will be added to the wall.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Exactly. I feel the same my friend. To just add a small step to awareness and helping people feel supported and still valuable is all I hope to do xxx

      Hopefully a cure will come for those after us my friend cx


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