I am certainly not new to the world of doctors and specialists, but even I am stunned when I encounter a rude and uncaring doctor! It’s completely and truly deplorable!
We feel so exposed and so vulnerable when we see a doctor or specialist. Our pain, our hurt, our struggles and our fears are exposed to a stranger, and when they are rude, disinterested, don’t listen, criticize, talk over you and don’t answer your questions it is truly inexcusable.
I thought by now I was beyond such experiences. I was wrong!
I have found it very hard to have to constantly explain all that happens with my body on a month to month basis. Sometimes I may struggle with bowel issues. Sometimes face rash. Sometimes joint pain (red, hot, stiff and painful), sometimes spasticity in my arms and legs and sometimes all of them at once… and more….
It usually means that several different Autoimmune illnesses are happening at once and there may also be overlaps. However when you encounter specialists who are only concerned about their area and refuse to see the whole picture (and how much you struggle with them) then it is time to walk away… (forgive the pun).
I am doing my utmost to recover from the incident which I experienced recently, and I have to believe that I can find a far better behaved doctor to take her place, but the emotions are still raw.
At a time when I am struggling so hard to stay active and do anything this person made me feel completely worthless.
I really must remember to never give anyone that power. Anyone.
I have also come away from this recent experience asking myself why did I put up with it? Why didn’t I speak up??
I should have… and I didn’t.
Perhaps that is really what is causing me such frustration and emotion, the fact that I am this age and I didn’t stand up for myself better in front of this poorly behaved and unprofessional person.
I simply said nothing and told her I wanted to go. I barely spoke. I just sat and took it all. I am deeply disappointed in myself and I must learn not to let myself down like that again.
Going forward I want to take lessons with me. I want to do my homework and be better armed against such a person in the future; should I ever encounter someone like that again… especially when they say things I believe to be untrue about things I am uniquely familiar with i.e. My body.
I want to be a better advocate for myself even when I am in the presence of the worst care providers.
I have been on discussion boards where people have said thing like “he is the most arrogant doctor” or “she didn’t listen and just left me in pain” and it still shocks me and disappoints me.
Why would anyone treat another human being like that? Especially ones that took an oath to act in behalf of their patients and to do no harm (physically or emotionally)!
Truth is that Bad medicine and bad doctors are everywhere, and in the places you least expect them. We can never become complacent and somehow we must find the courage and strength to stand up for ourselves.
After all, these people won’t ever think of you again or have to live with the consequences of their behavior… but we do.
Gentle hugs,
Trish
Perhaps it would help with closure if you wrote her a letter. If you do, it may help future patients of hers? But do what is best for you. xXx
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Thank you for your suggestion. I will consider it. I have encountered several doctors who have had very bad bedside manners and it had become quite common for so many people to encounter such treatment. It doesn’t justify it at all, but it seems very common nowadays and that is the saddest part of all.
No patient should ever be treated poorly considering that doctors are supposed to care for their patients and are well paid for doing so.
I admit it has made me want to reassess and consider my options for the future and cut back on the team of specialists I have. I think a quiet and peaceful life is becoming much more enticing. Xxx
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My Motto, the doctor must laugh with me or at me in the first appointment. If not. I seek higher ground. Much higher ground
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