recently I had been talking to another fellow fighter who has been hurt by how her family has treated her. She feels terribly sad, abandoned and betrayed. My heart goes out to her. Truly.
As awful as this is, it happens so often that it is remarkable when it doesn’t happen! It is perhaps more painful than the diseases themselves.
In my time I have read and heard the most awful experiences of pain, rejection and desertion. It’s heartbreaking.
as I corresponded with this fighter I became aware of something that we all seem to forget and overlook in the moment. And that is that They have lost your love and respect too!
So many times we undervalue ourselves in these situations! We forget that losing our love, support and devotion is something that they will have to bare also. Their actions reflect poorly on them not you!
We can forget that illness doesn’t just reveal who we are and how much we must learn, grow, rebuild and fight through… it reveals the true nature of those around us and any shortcomings that they may have.
Those who we may have thought to be loving, committed, compassionate, supportive people can begin to show their true natures as they are faced with the realities of long term and chronic illness.
Chronic illness is real. It doesn’t go away overnight. It can be so very hard to cope with. It requires a lot of patience and endurance. It demands respect and dedication. For those family or close friends who really don’t know these qualities and struggle to offer these qualities to others, it will become apparent… it just takes time.
For those fighters who are confronted with these sad revelations my heart goes out to you. Truly. I know the scars it leaves and how it can feel truly heartbreaking. I really do know how you feel, and so do millions of other fighters around the world. Truly!!!
But … I have also learned to see these revelations as learning about others and not seeing them as a failing in me.
I didn’t stop being lovable or worthy, I just got sick. And that is exactly what has happened to so many of you. You didn’t do anything wrong. You deserve love and respect. Sadly, it is their failing if they can’t offer it.