The Big Reveal

recently I had been talking to another fellow fighter who has been hurt by how her family has treated her. She feels terribly sad, abandoned and betrayed. My heart goes out to her. Truly.

As awful as this is, it happens so often that it is remarkable when it doesn’t happen! It is perhaps more painful than the diseases themselves.

In my time I have read and heard the most awful experiences of pain, rejection and desertion. It’s heartbreaking.


as I corresponded with this fighter I became aware of something that we all seem to forget and overlook in the moment. And that is that They have lost your love and respect too!

So many times we undervalue ourselves in these situations! We forget that losing our love, support and devotion is something that they will have to bare also. Their actions reflect poorly on them not you!

We can forget that illness doesn’t just reveal who we are and how much we must learn, grow, rebuild and fight through… it reveals the true nature of those around us and any shortcomings that they may have.

Those who we may have thought to be loving, committed, compassionate, supportive people can begin to show their true natures as they are faced with the realities of long term and chronic illness.

Chronic illness is real. It doesn’t go away overnight. It can be so very hard to cope with. It requires a lot of patience and endurance. It demands respect and dedication. For those family or close friends who really don’t know these qualities and struggle to offer these qualities to others, it will become apparent… it just takes time.

For those fighters who are confronted with these sad revelations my heart goes out to you. Truly. I know the scars it leaves and how it can feel truly heartbreaking. I really do know how you feel, and so do millions of other fighters around the world. Truly!!!

But … I have also learned to see these revelations as learning about others and not seeing them as a failing in me.

I didn’t stop being lovable or worthy, I just got sick. And that is exactly what has happened to so many of you. You didn’t do anything wrong. You deserve love and respect. Sadly, it is their failing if they can’t offer it.

Gentle hugs,


7 thoughts on “The Big Reveal

  1. You nailed it .
    It hurts emotionally to the core . We did not ask for this . I myself had been a care giver for 30 years being in the medical field , always nurturing , and taking care of my ailing parents . So now I am the one who needs this love and support . Where is it ? I’ve been married for 36 years with 2 adult children ; yet I feel so alone , imprisoned in my own home whilst they run circles around me and still look to me for cooking and housekeeping .
    I raise the white flag and say “ I give .”
    I am no longer sad .
    I just look around and think to myself , where have all the people gone that I thought I knew so well ? What goes around comes around . I’m still waiting .

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I really can be a hard lesson and it can fill us with so many emotions and conflicts.

      It really isn’t fair, but it really is a spotlight on others. The hardest thing sometimes is seeing people for who they are, even the colder and sadder things.

      It’s hard not to feel emotional when you have given love and care…
      but try to hold your head high and remember that you showed character… and they have lost something special and remarkable in you.

      You get to enjoy the memories of a kind and compassionate life.


      Liked by 1 person

  2. I will indeed hold my head high .
    I still have my dignity .
    And yes , this does make me realize so much . And I will have the lasting memories of the ones I helped and how they were helping me become the person that I am . Strong , not afraid . Just keep on keeping true to me.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I like to look at myself as an ambassador for RA and diabetes. I am in the Central Indiana Consulate for RA and diabetes. My mission is to prove all others wrong about chronic disease. Wrong that it is faking or easy, wrong that I don’t hurt or wrong that only women have these. In fact I operate consulate of the year as determined by,, well me.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. And you do an amazing job. So often people don’t receive the thanks for all their efforts but please accept mine for all that you have done and continue to do. No better advocate out there.


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