Today Pay Day means something completely different to me and always will.
It’s not the happy event I wait for. Far from it. It’s the days, weeks or months that I dread.
Pay Day is what I call the days where I pay for something I might have done for myself or somewhere I might have gone to enjoy this life. There is never a time I don’t pay for these things.
Today is Pay Day I don’t know how long it will last but it hurts and I can’t do anything but endure it. It has become such a very well know event for me and so it is almost not even worth mentioning anymore… although I still hate it.
what did I do to earn my Pay Day? I spent the last few days in the garden enjoying some unusually pleasant weather. I loved it. The feel of the warmth and sunlight. The flowers. The wind blowing through the plants and trees. Breathtaking!… And now I will pay for it.
Fatigue. Pain. Tremor. Spasm. Vision issues. They all turned up with enthusiasm last night.
Cha Ching! … it’s Pay Day!
My mother once said to me …
No good deed goes unpunished!
She was right. She didn’t intend it to describe this situation obviously, but it is so apt.
Every Autoimmune knows what I am talking about but very few others do. Even some health professionals have no idea how long and how heavy the toll can be. And you can’t avoid it. Ever.
I am writing this for those who may be having a pay day today and for those who have no idea what a pay day is. May we all be united in understanding and support one day.