Pay Day 

Years ago Pay Day was the most wonderful days of the year. I would wait all week, all fortnight or all month for this day… and it was gone too quickly. 

Today Pay Day means something completely different to me and always will. 

It’s not the happy event I wait for. Far from it. It’s the days, weeks or months that I dread. 

Pay Day is what I call the days where I pay for something I might have done for myself or somewhere I might have gone to enjoy this life. There is never a time I don’t pay for these things. 

Today is Pay Day  I don’t know how long it will last  but it hurts and I can’t do anything but endure it. It has become such a very well know event for me and so it is almost not even worth mentioning anymore… although I still hate it. 

what did I do to earn my Pay Day? I spent the last few days in the garden enjoying some unusually pleasant weather. I loved it. The feel of the warmth and sunlight. The flowers. The wind blowing through the plants and trees. Breathtaking!… And now I will pay for it. 

Fatigue. Pain. Tremor. Spasm. Vision issues. They all turned up with enthusiasm last night. 

Cha Ching! … it’s Pay Day! 

My mother once said to me …

No good deed goes unpunished! 

She was right. She didn’t intend it to describe this situation obviously, but it is so apt. 

Every Autoimmune knows what I am talking about but very few others do. Even some health professionals have no idea how long and how heavy the toll can be. And you can’t avoid it. Ever. 

I am writing this for those who may be having a pay day today and for those who have no idea what a pay day is. May we all be united in understanding and support one day. 

Gentle hugs, 


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