It is exactly how I feel. Trapped!
Everyday I am trapped in this body and this reality, despite the many dreams and plans I may have.
The challenge has always been how can I make any of those plans and dreams come true?
I believe it to be common amongst those of us facing similar physical barriers that in our hearts we want to do something but our bodies now struggle to cooperate. We ultimately need more help to do things and we have to ask for help many times. Sometimes help is not easy to find; regrettably.
Sometimes I spend so much time trying to figure out how I can achieve some goals that it starts to feel too hard and so, sadly, I may give up. I like to think that most times I push harder than those times I give up. It depends on the day. Sometimes I must let some plans and dreams go. That is reality not weakness.
The person I was before my health changed still lives on inside me and maybe as my body changed it has had to evolve. Perhaps it has become more experienced. It has matured to survive. Still many things remain inside and trapped.
It is sad that often the world overlooks the goals and achievements of those with physical challenges. Perhaps because they appear small? Perhaps because they don’t understand the struggles involved? Perhaps because they only care for things like money or celebrity now? Perhaps they have been taught to overlook? Who knows…
If everyone was trapped inside an injured body they may all recognise the spirit and determination that goes into each and every achievement.
Remembering how hard it was to do something with a bad flu or broken bones can sometimes remind people how hard even simple things can be.
No matter how trapped I feel or get I still dream, I still hope, I still feel and perhaps this is what will make a big difference for me in the life to come.