I awoke tonight, after 2 days in bed and in pain, with an overwhelmingly sad feeling of loss. I wondered, briefly, if this is a common feeling felt by other chronically ill, and that is the loss of time.
It has always mystified me how, in a universe which deals in billions of years and boundless measures of time, that organisms, such as us, have such a infinitesimally short life span. Our time is brief and therefore precious to us. Days spent in pain and suffering feel as though they are carved away from my life. Never to return.
It seems almost cruel that we will never really appreciate the many wonders that the universe contains or live long enough to discover more, due to the small amounts of time we are given.
If only we had a tiny measure of the time that the rest of the universe has, perhaps our awareness and appreciation would have the time needed to truly develop and grow. Like a fine wine improving over the centuries.
Because we have such a staggeringly small amount of time we are constantly trying to live as much as we can and achieve as much as possible, quickly, which often means we miss out on a lot of the insights, benefits and wisdom that only time could truly give us.
Time is a precious commodity to us mere mortals, even more precious to those with illness and struggles, but for the rest of the universe it is endless and unfathomable resource.