To Treat Or Retreat?

I am at a point in my journey where the past years have seen me do many tests, take lots of drugs, visited many specialists and receive more diagnosed diseases… 

I find myself asking “how much is enough?”

Rather than continue down this road of unearthing more issues and starting new drugs for diseases that have no cure, I now wonder whether I may be better off simply spending the time coping and finding a little place in the country to simply live out my days as best I can. 

This is incredibly inviting to me at this time since there doesn’t seem to be any way of avoiding or curing the pain and disability that I now live with, so maybe the time I have left can be better spent and more enjoyable living the simple life. The life of a country recluse. 

I have been looking at tiny country cottages and imagining a life even more removed than I already am. 

What could possibly be wrong with such a plan? 

Even the stress of suburban life, city traffic, constant specialist appointments and urban sprawl is too much for me now. I yearn for even more simplicity. 

I feel now that I really don’t need much in terms of luxurious accommodations, a simple ‘disability friendly’ home is all that is needed. A garden to sit in. Room for my furry children to roam, living within  driving distance to stores and supplies, and within safe distance of a hospital in the event of a medical emergency. 

It is tugging hard on my heart strings! 

I guess I really won’t know if it will work unless I try and perhaps there is a way of ‘dipping my toes’ into such a life first? 

While the questions have been swirling around my mind and heart I keep asking myself “… should I continue to treat or plan my retreat?” 

At least I can say without hesitation that after 10 long and exhausting years I have certainly done an enormous amount of treating and now I should consider giving myself a chance at the alternative. 

… to be continued 

Gentle hugs, 

Trish. 

6 thoughts on “To Treat Or Retreat?

  1. Heart wrenching to read when you love the writer. Trish, I understand the idea of coping after so many years of treating and constant appointments. It is so so hard when your life is just a run of medical appointments. Sending hugs and love.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Trish, I think the idea of a tree change & enjoying the beauty of your surroundings everyday when chronically ill sounds beautiful. My husband & I wanted to move to Tasmania but unfortunately my health progressed too quickly making it impossible to make the move & my Drs now all have said ” not a good idea, stay put”.
    If I could physically do it I absolutely would. We thankfully moved to a seaside village not far from my medical team & I love it but it’s still not the country dream I long for.
    I look forward to the continuation of your story. Follow your heart & so long as you are close to hospital amenities as you are planning to be, it could be so uplifting. Take care Sam xx

    Liked by 1 person

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