Probably one of the most important tools for surviving chronic life is finding someone with whom you can talk to about your challenges in a judgement free way. 

If you are able to find that person it is a true game changer. 

They may be a professional counselor, they may be a fellow fighter or simply someone who you find easy to talk to.

It isn’t ideal to rely completely on your spouse or partner as they already have a very important role in your life without further compounding that special bond. 

For me, personally, they had to be… 

1. A good listener. 

2. Allows me (and wants me) to speak my truth. 

3. Does not want to compete for air time and attention or tries to talk over me. 

4. Accepts me for who I truly am.  (personality and history). 

5. Can distance themselves emotionally when needed, when required to give an honest opinion or suggestion.  

6. Offers suggestions and not ultimatums. 

7. Someone who genuinely cares. 

8. Someone I don’t feel like I am annoying or intruding upon. 

9. Someone who respects boundaries. 

And

10. Someone who is a safe place for my feelings and experiences. 
Of course it is a always a two way street. 

I was recently reminded of how fortunate I am to have found that person and what a huge impact it makes when I have the opportunity to ‘open up and catch up’. Especially when I find myself struggling to keep afloat. 

And that happens to us all. 

I make sure that I don’t overuse this person and over rely on their time (showing good respect and boundaries) so I feel that I can get a better result during the times that we ‘open up and catch up’. 

I think the best part of these ‘relationships’ is how they make you feel after you have a chance to speak to them. I know that I feel heard, understood and lighter. 

And very, very blessed. 

I can’t say how and where you find these people, sometimes they will appear in many different places and scenarios, but they are an amazing and significant step forward in the Chronic journey; probably even more significant than finding the right meds. Or at least just as important as finding the right meds! 

I call these people Game Changers because of the effect that they make on our lives and I can’t possibly describe how grateful I am. 

As I look over my life I have met some very significant people in my life that has helped to change me and helped me become the person I am today. 

I really can’t describe their value in mere words. 

I assure you that a chronic game changer can make a powerful difference as we continue to change and face some of the most demanding challenges in our lives and I truly hope you will find some, or already have one. 

As I write this I also know that they will have no clue about how truly precious and important they are and they make no requirements that I write and praise them with a piece in their honour. But isn’t that what makes them so special afterall? 

If you don’t currently have such a person than I would sincerely recommend that it is worth every effort and moment spent to develop this important relationship.  

It will take time, honesty, emotions and experience to develop a rewarding and workable situation that is also mutually rewarding, but it will be one of the most important tools you may ever have in your fight with these chronic diseases and it can make all the difference to your chronic world. 

Gentle hugs, 

Trish