Not everyone cares … Even those who you thought would care won’t. That’s just life. Very few, in fact, care about your particular circumstances or challenges. It is very freeing when you accept this and even accept that its ok. As long as you care enough than that is all that matters.
Some people treat challenges like a competition… Some people will try and grade their losses or problems as being greater than yours. Don’t play the game. It’s a pointless and ultimately sad way of looking at pain and troubles.
Just when you think you can take no more… Something challenging will happen to keep pushing you. That’s life. Life makes no apologies. It just keeps going no matter how prepared we are for whatever is going to happen. Most of life is just coping.
Life isn’t fair … Growing up we are taught that good things happen to good people and that everything ‘balances’. Karma etc. It doesn’t. Life isn’t fair and it isn’t supposed to be. Accepting this truth is a huge step forward. Life is just life. It doesn’t have a balancing scale.
You find out who really cares about you… More surprising than we think and probably most surprising of all. If you thought someone would care because you have cared for them, you will sadly be made aware that you are wrong. It doesn’t work that way. Humans don’t work that way. Do what you do out of your own conscience and motivation and not in the expectation of anything. Ever.
The only thing that truly helps is love… Love is the only thing that will help you through rough times and challenges. So soak yourself in it. Bathe in it. Wrap yourself up in it whatever you can and with whoever you love.
Emotional pain can hurt more than physical pain… Why? Well I don’t know but It just can. Sometimes a sense of loss can be overwhelming and can focus your thoughts away from the physical pain you feel. The body is strange that way. But it doesn’t mean your physical pain isn’t real and not in need of help. Managing both is a true skill.
Nature can say and do all the things that humans cannot. Nature can lift you. Inspire you. Cloak you. Fill you. Comfort you. Bring you peace. If you are finding that people are not able to offer you comfort or calm in times of need… Go to nature!
Sometimes we never get the answers we seek. Ever. It doesn’t matter how hard we may try or how many questions we ask, sometimes we will never know the answer. It is not a reflection of our intelligence, bravery, or courage. It just is. Sometimes the mind can spin for years mulling over the questions that haunt us but at some point we have to reach a point where we accept that we will never find the answers we are looking for and we should not let that deprive us of our chance at peace. Finding peace in the storms of life is probably the greatest ability that exists in the world.
Emotional intelligence is more valuable than other forms of intelligence. I learned this the hard way! I used to think that if I was smart and clever I could make sure that I was always able to cope with whatever life handed. I was wrong. The emotional intelligence we acquire throughout our lives is the only real intelligence worth having. What good is knowing Einstiens laws of relativity when we have lost a loved one? None. Knowing how to deal with grief is a far more valuable skill.
Love really is the best way of coping with life events. Love for self. Love for others. Compassion. Empathy. If you fill your life with what brings you love and peace and let go of things like hate, anger, jealousy there is no limit to what we can endure. By ‘throwing out’ and ‘decluttering’ the negative feelings that accumulate over time we make room for feelings and choices that are far more satisfying and rewarding. It might mean that you won’t be the richest person in the world but it can mean you have a life that allowed you to enjoy more and you may not always be looking over your shoulder and fighting old shadows.
Memories are not fixed things, they change like the sands on a beach. They can be eroded. They can be modified. They can change shape and form. Memories will change as we change. As we grow and change for the better, so can our memories.
Don’t apologize for the decisions and choices you have made with your heart and in the belief that you are being true to yourself. Intension is everything. Wasting a life doing what is expected and not what comes from our truest self is a waste of a life. It makes coping with challenges so much harder.
If you love something or someone… Always, and without exception, let them know. Treasure it. Show it. Live it. Speak it. Embrace it.
Of course I could be completely wrong. But I am ok with that.