Just When You Thought It Couldn’t Get Any Worse!


This year was hard. Damn hard. It took everything we had to make it to September. The pain, the disease progression. The new challenges! 

We were only just saying that we don’t know how we have survived the burdens and pain that we have had to endure so far … And then…

Our loving, loyal, companion fur-kid died today. Our world has just been torn in two. 

There are no words to explain how we feel. Tears don’t seem to stop coming. Our hearts feel as though they have been torn from our bodies and even breathing is painfully hard. 

He wasn’t just our dog, he was family. We loved him as a mother and father would their darling child. Our grief is all consuming. 

You see he had been my eyes when my vision went. He was my inspiration to keep going. He licked away my tears. And he was my constant companion in some of the darkest of times… For 9 long years. 

As we start this painful journey with our grief, we know that it may never be truly understood or even acknowledged by many of those who knew us or are related to us, but to those who really do know us and love us they know exactly what has happened to us. 

All my life I have been an animal lover and have found the love and loyalty in animals that I had only ever hoped to find in most humans. I have often said that they are everything that humans should aspire to be and strive for… It would be to our greatest benefit if we could have half the qualities that animals have in endless supply. 

I have loved and mourned a number of fur children in my time and it never gets easier. Ever

Would it be easier if I didn’t love as deeply as I do? Maybe… But it wouldn’t be fair or even approaching what they truly deserve. So, I DO love, and I love deeply … and I hurt badly

To someone who is an animal lover AND chronically ill our fur children take on a completely different role to that of most domestic pets. They become our entire world and replace all the experiences and relationships that are taken from us. 

We even find reasons to live in the love and loyalty of our furry children. 

I will never be able to describe the love I have for my darling Darwin, nor do I have the words to describe the depth of my pain at his loss. 

It’s true that I am guilty of missing my fur kids more than I do a lot of people, but then there are few people that have showed me the same love, devotion, kindness, compassion, joy and pleasure that my pets have. 

To those who understand what I am trying to say, and have experienced such deep love and loss for themselves, my thoughts and love go out to you. Truly. 

For those who know nothing of what I have tried to describe and think little of the bond I write about, then my sincere condolences to you also, because that is the saddest scenario of all. 

If I have to go through this deep pain to have the honor and privilege of the fur children I have had, I would do it again, and again, and again… They are worth every second… And more. 

In loving memory, 

Always….

Trish 

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