When everyone you know is going on holiday, renovating, changing jobs, going out for a night of wining and dining and just generally doing things, it can be easy to feel frustrated and even sad with the life of a chronically ill person.
My days are far from exciting and my nights are painful too, but I also realize that most people would never be able to comprehend what days are truly like for those of us with no control over our bodies and its challenges.
Today my hubby managed to take me to a movie and although that seems like a very minor achievement to so many people it is a MAJOR achievement for us; for me.
As I emerged from the cinema and we made our way to the car, I couldnt help but feel a sense of joy from having made the journey. Even as my husband wheeled me to the car, I was just so relieved and felt a sense of real accomplishment.
You see there are many times in a chronically ill life where it is very easy to want to end the suffering and end the constant struggle and to doubt our purpose.
These feelings are normal and will probably always be part of my chronically ill life. But I also find that I can’t give up while there is still ‘something’ left to do and to finish. No matter how smal it might be.
For example, I still have the charity idea that I dearly want to put in place for future sufferers, I still want to oversee the planting of some roses in the corner garden, I want to plan a cake for my husbands birthday, I want to clean out my closet and decluttering… And sometimes that is all I need to keep wanting to push through.
Life seems to be a series of tasks, hurdles and challenges no matter what level of health and no matter what abilities you may have.
I think this may be common in most human beings, and what makes us keep going can often be those small but meaningful things to each person.
Maybe a meaningful life can be a life is simply a life where even the little things have its meaning to you.