About this time of year we invariably watch the clock tick over midnight and hope that with the ushering in of a brand new year that good things will be in store. A clean slate.
The sins of the old year wiped and forgotten and a chance to begin again.
Many people start making a list of things they want to do or have happen with the coming of a new year. New Years Resolutions come pouring in like the tide on New years day but it isn’t long until some of these wishes and goals start retreating like the tide too. This is especially true for those of us with medical challenges and it is incredibly difficult for us Autoimmune sufferers and the chronically ill.
You see, its not that we DON’T have hopes or dreams. It’s not that we don’t have goals or ambitions. Its not that we don’t TRY and do everything in our power to make a fresh start. In fact, we are the MASTERS of starting over. We do it almost every day of the year!!
One of the hardest part of our lives and our diseases is that we have NO control over our bodies and our disease activity. Our bodies can be a hard task master, and many of us may live outside of the ability to predict or direct it.
With that in mind… I can’t count all the years I have sat in the shadow of the coming year and begged that I will be better, happier, stronger and healthier, only to end that same year disappointed in myself and feeling more than a little emotional.
Speaking with my other Autoimmune friends I am surprised at how many others experience almost exactly the same things and feelings. Sometimes we have both laughed and consoled each other when we both said “… and we thought last year was bad…”
So what’s the answer? How do I stop myself from feeling the sting of pain and anguish when I have not been able to achieve any of the goals and hopes I have nurtured; or when I have seen my health decline even further and encountered challenges I could never have predicted or prepared for.
There is an old cliche which is as true as it is simple, it says “…That’s life!…”
Trying to predict what will, and can, happen in a year is an exercise in futility. The same is true for trying to guess how an incurable and medically challenging diseases will behave. What has become important to me though, is that I continue into each year with hope, love, peace and dignity. And lots of support. These are the tools I use to face each year, each set back and each goal.
Instead of New Years Resolutions I try and make New Year Revelations from the lessons that I learned in the years behind me and the experiences I have been through.
Truthfully, I don’t know how I or many of my Autoimmune brothers and sisters have made it this far!… But we did. There is something powerful in that alone. Something beyond amazing. Something inspiring. Something worth celebrating.
I don’t have any plans for this New Year except for waking up each day and doing the best that I can. If some opportunity to enjoy doing something or enjoying someones company comes along than I will do my best to take advantage of those times. Not knowing what will happen and what I can achieve each year is only bearable because I know I always gave it my best.There is a deep sense of dignity from this that is worth more to me than any goal or plan.
This is the result of a New Year Revelation I made several years ago and it really has made a lot of difference to the life I have and things and the way I look at each new year.
Happy New Year you amazing people!