Old Yella And Life…


I can remember as a child watching a movie were a beloved and faithful dog “old Yella” was ultimately put to sleep. I was young and I was inconsolable. I was a blubbering mess. 

It was a visceral pain that I remember to this day and every time I watch or hear of anyone in pain I feel exactly the same. 
I have to confess that I looked away during most of the movie. And there have been many times since in my life that the pain of watching someone hurt or suffer was more than my body and emotions could stand. Even when my mother died. It wasn’t that I don’t care … but that I care SO much I shut down. 
I was thinking today. If you know someone who is battling something difficult. Or. Has a lifelong and chronic illness it’s hard to know what to say. It’s hard to watch. It’s hard to ask or speak about. It’s just plain hard. I find it hard to know what to do or say to my other sick friends and I often have the same illnesses!! 
I guess what I am trying to say is… 

I know it’s hard to hear my posts sometimes. Witness my struggles. Hear my pain. Feel my loss. Read as I vent, or when I share experiences that many of you prefer not to have to go through with me. I get it. I really do. 
So… When you do say something kind, supportive, or just read something that is hard to read, knowing that there is real hurt behind the words, I just want to say THANK YOU. 
Just being there. Just reading. Just listening. Just thinking and just being… YOU is all I ever expect or ask of you all. 
You are in my life not to heal me or make me better or fix me. You are there because you accept me. That’s all I ever need or want. And that’s what I offer in return. 

You don’t have to say, be, write, act, do anything that isn’t you or in you…
That’s what I offer. That’s what I respect and that’s what I hope you all love about me too. 

Gentle hugs,


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