What I have learnt after nearly a decade of debilitating illness/es –
– A lot of people will have their own opinion on what you should do, should have done… Your opinion is the only one that matters
– A lot of people are just not going to understand. Even doctors who are around sickness and pain all day, Its just a job to them, Its just a word to others… but its a life for you. You are the one that has to find peace in your own mind.
– Acceptance is not a sign of giving up and being lazy. It is understanding the truth of a situation without your ego or others prejudice dirtying the water.
– We should not be valued by what we do physically and achieve through strength but who we are as people and what we give through our spirits and minds.
– Overcoming a situation doesn’t mean that you become healed or cured, it just means that you decide it wont hurt you anymore or eat you away.
– Just because you might share a disability, illness, diagnosis with someone doesn’t mean you are going to agree or get along with them. Who we are inside doesn’t change that much when we get sick, but we can respect them.
– Don’t assume because you are struggling or suffering that anyone will help you. You have to have a plan for how to survive if its just you on your own. Put a plan together as soon as possible and keep it safe. It has to include how get food and medication, even if you couldn’t move. Emergency contacts are the most important things in your life.
– Dont assume your friends / family will behave any differently even if your world has changed forever. That’s just the harsh reality of life.
– You will find compassion and understanding in the most unlikely of places, always be prepared to be surprised.
– Learn to say “NO” without feeling guilty or a failure.
– Learn to say “Help” without feeling embarrassed or unworthy.
– Forgive yourself. You did nothing wrong. Repeat every day.
– Invest in yourself! If you can afford or do any little thing that makes you feel happy, part of this world, brings you joy etc DO IT. BUY IT. HAVE IT. MAKE TIME FOR IT.
– You will work harder on your self esteem and emotional maturity when you are sick then you EVER did when were well, because you have nowhere to run or hide.
– Controlling your mind and your thinking is your greatest asset. You cant let the fear of tomorrow and the future sit with you every day. We cant see the future, and when you are sick that is the blessing and the curse.
– What ever you decide to try (medication, medicine, diet, exercise, advice, instruction, meditation, affirmation etc Do because YOU want to, Follow YOUR heart and judgement. Its YOUR decision not anyone else’s. Follow your inner voice. You are finally at the point where you have no one to impress or appease but yourself.
– There are going to be many time you will give up on life and want to die. This is not a sign of your moral weakness but a sign of how much you suffer. Don’t let the world tell you how to feel about these moments. They are not the ones suffering. They have nothing to understand and compare with your suffering. Its not a sign of your mental instability or moodiness. You are human and you are in pain.
– No one has the right to judge you.
– Dignity and respect will come from how you treat yourself. If you believe you are still worth love and compassion, you wont let anyone take it away.
– Set up boundaries and keep them! If you don’t want people invading your space, seeing you, touching you, or asking too much of you. PUT UP BOUNDARIES! They don’t have to deal with the your illness and pain- you do! You can politely say “I cant / Don’t feel up to that thank you.” And dont feel you have to explain or justify yourself!
– You are still allowed to be human and make mistakes. Your healthy peers are allowed to, and so are you.
– Forgive yourself.
– You probably find that your illness means you don’t understand or enjoy 99% of the all the madness that goes on in the world. Good. Let it go. You don’t need it. Your eyes have forever been open to what really matters.
– The best goal that I have found to aim for is peace. Inner peace. Its the only goal I can still truly achieve for myself.
– The world may have an opinion of what your life means but yours is the only one that matters.