I can remember being in hospital when Princess Diana was killed. The media covered every second as it played out over several weeks; probably even months. The media will always lunge onto some human tragedy and pick the bones dry before moving off to devour (or invent) the next storyline. But I wont bore you with my thoughts on the media, and why I stopped watching TV several years ago. That will be another time.
I can remember laying in my hospital bed and being bombarded with pictures and speculations, and then for a brief second a picture of Diana’s two boys flicked up. Two little boys. Honestly they looked like they never really understood the media circus that was going on? How could they? They were just two little boys who were now without their mother. That is truly what any tragedy comes down to. No matter what the rest of the world thinks, feels, says, does. Its the human experience which separates those who watch and those who feel.
Going through life without a mother or mentor is not easy, especially when we are going through some of the hardest times of our lives. As I write this it is coming up upon Mothers Day and I think to myself one of the many things that I have missed about my own mother is that she was gone before I got very sick and so she doesn’t know the challenges I face every day. There is no motherly ear to hear my thoughts and experiences. I cant pick up the phone and tell her what is happening or how worried I may be. The human experience.
I can only imagine how difficult Mother’s Day and Father’s Day is for those who face similar challenges and daily struggles, not being able to turn to a parent and share these difficult times. When we lose the parent/s we are closer to, it is indeed a life changing experience. The parent – child bond can be a very special one and irreplaceable one. Learning how to parent yourself and love yourself unconditionally is often a very difficult skill to master. When we lose a parent we have to care, comfort, reassure, encourage and validate ourselves even during our darkest hours.
Although many parents encourage us early in life to reach for the stars and ‘be all you can be’ and can probably want more for us than they might have had, I am sure that deep down all a parent really wants is for us to live happy and fulfilling lives. I like to think that although my mother is no longer alive, that’s all she would want for me today. The human experience. If she were alive today, although I am sure she would be quite worried over how my health has declined, she would also want me to live a life I can be proud of. And I am. I believe that for others out there who have faced these difficult health challenges and pain without a parents love and encouragement, I know you can still have a life that you can be proud of and that would make them proud too.
In loving memory of my mother,