We all have to find ways of coping with the most difficult times in our lives and everybody seems to find the their own techniques which suit them best or based on what they know. Some of us can become quiet and seek solitude and peace, others find reaching more useful. Sometimes, some situations take more than one method and can be a continual process of coping day to day. This is especially true for those of us who have life long battles to cope with. It often means we try many, many different things in order to best manage our lives. For me, I like learning and growing, and finding new ways to do that.
8 years ago life changed and try as I might I couldn’t stop the changes that were happening and so I tried to change my think about the things that I could do. Learning what I could do was a process of trying something, anything, finding if I could do it and if I enjoyed doing it. One of the things that I have discovered that I enjoy a lot is also something that my body fights me for; my art. 10 years ago I never thought that I had any talent for art (Secretly, I still don’t) but I enjoyed doing it. It makes my hands scream with pain. My numb fingers make it difficult to wield the pencil, paint, charcoal or pen, but I do my best not to give it up. I do it for as long as I can, before my hands start to tremor and then its time to stop and come back when I can.
When my artwork is paused, then I try to work on my gardening. Sometimes its moving between gardening, art, pets and writing. Advocacy has become my latest passion as I have I have read so may posts from people who are struggling to cope and are hurting from clinging to a life they may no longer be able to have and not thinking about a life that might be possible. Coping is like that, it is an ongoing process and includes focusing your energy and emotions towards a things that have a much healthier effect and deeper rewards.
When I can’t do the coping that I would like to do I have to ask for help from hubby and we go through the list; top to bottom. Reading, music, talking, relaxing, massage, positive talking and positive thinking… these may seem like little things to many people but they mean the world to me and are the difference between a manageable day and a ‘i cant take this anymore’ day. I can’t afford to have too many of those. So I keep trying to find new ways to cope. It is a my new full time job and it starts from the moment I open my eyes to the moment my body lets me rest.
Everyday that I have done my best, tried my hardest and managed to cope I remember to pat myself on the back. We both do, my hubby and I, because we are a team and a team works together. Don’t be afraid to try something different, do something different or think something different because after all, 90% of this life is coping and 10% is dreaming. I once read somewhere that some of the best ingredients to coping are 1. Someone to love 2. Something to do and 3. Something to look forward to. I hope you always have these too.