How much positivity is positive? #lifeskills #positivity #love #chronicillness #autoimmune #survivor

I ask myself this question constantly, whether I was sick or not, how much positivity is enough? Do I have to go around singing and dancing and constantly beating a drum about how my life is happy, blessed and full of hallmark moments?
How much of my challenges and disappointments are we allowed to show without someone chiding us for not being “positive enough”.

We are constantly bombarded with pictures of smiling, ‘slim’, ‘beautiful’, healthy people in the media that we seem to have accepted that this commercial brand of positivity is the only way to be acceptable in society. If you vary from this pattern in anyway you run the risk of not being accepted and could be shunned by your friends and family. So where do we set the bar?

I have heard many people post and lament how their family and friends have abandoned them because they were too ‘negative’ and that they weren’t as entertaining and enjoyable as they once were. I don’t know these people personally and I wasn’t present during these conversations, but I am not sure what purpose this serves and why these comments were made.

When we think of some of the people that society would label as being positive people, is it realistic to think that they are positive ALL the time? It came as a great shock and tragedy when we heard of the suicide death of Mr Robin Williams. A great comedian, actor, entertainer, father, husband and friend. But we also learnt that during all those years he battled chronic depression and mental illness. The Robin Williams that the world knew was not the complete picture and he had just as much darkness as he had light. Real people have a range of emotions and life hands an endless amount of experiences which will test us, shape us, teach us, break us down and build us anew. Its my opinion that as long as we do not become stopped, stagnate or implode then we are doing the most positive thing that we can; being present and giving of ourselves fully to whatever life hands us.

A positive attitude to me means an open mind, an open heart, and willingness to keep going; all the while sharing these things with those we love and care for. A positive thing that I do for myself at this time in my life is to be proud of myself for making it through another day and allowing myself to develop a resilience to difficulties that are placed in my path. Therefore I grieve, I learn, I share, I accept, I grow, I nurture and I break sometimes. Never stalling, never giving up, never turning away and always learning.

To my mind their is positivity in being your authentic self and walking your own road in the best way you can, whilst always looking for ways to grow during the journey. I may not always be a laughing, jumping, entertaining ball of energy but I can honestly say that I am at peace with who I am today and I am hopeful for who I can become tomorrow… and that seems positive to me.

Gentle hugs,


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